Wednesday July, 25th 2018
31 Weeks & 3 Days Pregnant
(Continued)
I was devastated to hear that I wouldn’t be going home. The doctor went on to explain that they would continue to monitor my blood pressure but they couldn’t risk sending me home with the numbers still elevated.
“My numbers are elevated because you admitted me without consulting with met” was all I could think at the time. He left without saying another word as Sam prepped to leave for work himself. For the first time, I welcomed the alone time. I was filled with many different emotions and just wanted to be left with my thoughts. The headache that started it all was coming back…
It was a long day of strict routine – every 4 hours I had a blood pressure reading and every 6 hours, I was given more medicine. The nurse came in to give me the second shot. When I was admitted, I received a steroid shot to help my daughter’s lungs develop quicker in case they had to perform an emergency c section before she was ready. This involved 2 shots given 24 hours apart. (Unfortunately they had to give them to me in my butt.)
Later in the afternoon, Sam’s sisters and my mom stopped by that afternoon to visit for a little bit. My mom brought an adorable preemie sized outfit as a present; it was so cute but made me nervous when I saw how tiny the outfit was. I was already told I wouldn’t carry to full term but I wasn’t sure how far they would let me go. Sam finally returned to me after work then all of his family came to visit that evening. The many visitors were a nice refresher and helped me take my mind off everything but I still just wanted to go home.
After everyone left, it was just Sam and I and we could tell we were in for another rough night…
Thursday July, 26th 2018
31 Weeks & 4 Days Pregnant
The night was worse than I anticipated. I couldn’t get comfortable and was feeling exhausted and frustrated. When the nurse came in for my 3am reading, my blood pressure had shot up to 177/86. The nurse came back to check it again 2 hours later and it started to go back down.
When morning came, I dreaded the doctor coming in. I just wanted to go home. The last few days made it feel like I had been stuck in the hospital for a lifetime and I wanted out. I wanted to go back to our apartment. I wanted to go take a shower in my bathroom and lay down in my bed. I wanted to feel the sunshine on my cheek and the wind blow past me. I just wanted to go free. Sam was getting ready to (once again) head to work and I started to cry (again). I desperately wanted to go with him.
Shortly after he left, he sent me a video of a family of geese crossing the road. It was so simple, but absolutely made my day. I always love seeing baby ducks and geese at the pond and with how trapped I was feeling, it made me feel so much better. I was sitting on the bed watching the video over and over again until a knock on the door brought me back to reality.
The doctor once again graced me with his presence. I allowed myself to get my hopes up since he was visiting me so early and for a minute I had the right to.
“I planned on releasing you this morning. I have been watching your readings over the last 24 hours, but you had that spike this morning.”
Yes I had that one spike over the last 24 hours but I feel fine! I want to go home! I screamed ‘Please let me go home’ over and over in my head.
He continued, “because of that spike we’re going to continue to monitor you a little bit longer.”
I felt this ball of fire form inside of me and I fought back the tears. Finally I blurted out, “For how long? Why? What’s the next step?”
The doctor began to explain that he needed to make sure my blood pressure could go down and become stable enough for me to be discharged. Then went on to explain that with the blood pressure spikes it could lead to lack of oxygen to my brain which can cause a stroke and serious health concerns for my daughter.
I completely understood why they were keeping me but I hated that the doctor didn’t wouldn’t tell me how long or what the next steps would be. I hated not knowing if they were looking at keeping me short term or long term or how long they were planning on letting me carry my daughter. I was stuck in this massive waiting game and I was losing.
He stayed in the room as they did my next blood pressure reading, and (to no surprise) it was high. “I guess it’s my fault for the spike. I will leave you alone to relax and hopefully next time I see you, I can discharge you.” I was too exhausted from the frustration and tears I was holding back to have a rebuttal.
I filled Sam in on the morning events and told him that I was going to turn my phone off for a bit today. I wanted to do everything I could to relax. I wanted to have a peaceful day, no visitors so I can just focus on keeping my numbers down so I could hopefully go home the following day. Sam was well understanding and was happy to support me on this decision. His sisters had planned to visit again that afternoon so I hoped they weren’t disappointed by my decision but I didn’t want to risk even the slightest spike.
The morning continued and the nurses pumped me with more labetalol to try and get my readings back down. I felt relaxed (as relaxed as I could get there) but my blood pressure wasn’t going down. I could slowly feel the headache coming back. I told the nurse about the headache and she asked my pain scale. It wasn’t too bad for me; enough to notice. She gave me some Tylenol and told me, she would check back in about an hour.
I drifted off for a late morning nap and woke up when the nurse came back in. As I opened my eyes, the light as beginning to hurt. Then I felt a sharp pain in the middle of my skull. The headache grew worse through my nap. I informed the nurse and she checked my blood pressure. I couldn’t see what it was before she left in a hurry.
The nurse returned, only this time, she had the doctor with her. ‘Oh boy’, I thought, ‘this can’t be good.’
“Well sounds like your headache is coming back,” he said as they took another blood pressure.
178/121
They waited 10 minutes and took it again.
179/110
The doctor told the nurse to hook me back up to the blood pressure and fetal monitor machine, (Great… By the time I am done, I’ll be able to write a How To Use instructions manual) and they would give me a higher dose of labetalol.
After an hour of being hooked up, I stayed in the steady 160’s/90’s on all my readings. My next reading spiked back up.
202/108
The nurse paged for my doctor to come back. After coming in and looking over all the readings, he left the room for 20 minutes. When he returned, he informed me what would be happening next –
“We’re going to transport you to Providence Hospital.”
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